1
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,640
Fancy a bite, Rupert?
2
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:06,600
Ugh, that's wrong.
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:12,800
Mr Campbell-Black,
may I interest you in some pudding?
4
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,600
Yes, you can.
5
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,040
Oh, shit.
6
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,280
Uh, I was coming to find you.
7
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,800
Here's me thinking you were going
to grandmother's house.
8
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,960
My grandmother lives in Ireland.
9
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,120
Um, I had some leftovers from a job I did.
10
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,680
It's a spare jam roly-poly.
11
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,520
Can I interest you in a-a bite?
12
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,120
A bit of it?
13
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:34,880
I'll have one.
14
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,880
Hi, Bas. I made it with rhubarb.
15
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:39,480
Yeah.
16
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,640
Mmm. Oh, my God.
17
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,160
This is excellent. You're not having any?
18
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:50,560
No, I'm fine. [sighs] Should we head back?
19
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:53,680
Okay then.
20
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,480
Bye, darling.
21
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,800
- Bye.
- Delicious.
22
00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:00,520
Well, someone's got
a huge schoolgirl crush.
23
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,920
Don't be ridiculous.
She's just being thoughtful.
24
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,240
I was talking about you.
25
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,880
Roly-poly.
26
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,200
You lucky bugger.
27
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,600
I'm not lucky at all.
28
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,320
I promised Declan
I wouldn't go anywhere near her.
29
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,160
Well, I'm glad to see
you kept your promise.
30
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,240
And now,
our TV pick of the week,
31
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,120
Declan O'Hara has been dominating
the front pages,
32
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:20,600
pictured visiting 10 Downing Street
with Minister for Sport,
33
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,840
Rupert Campbell-Black.
34
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,440
This week, Mrs Thatcher
returns the invitation,
35
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:28,360
putting herself in the hot seat
for a good O'Hara grilling.
36
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,640
{\an8}As Declan's star rises even higher
at Corinium than it did at the BBC,
37
00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,000
we're asking ourselves,
38
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,080
{\an8}"Is this the most powerful man
in television?"
39
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,040
Mr O'Hara, Enid Spink.
40
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,560
- Big fan. I'll be watching Thursday.
- Mm-hmm.
41
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,160
Give that milk-snatcher
a run for her money.
42
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,760
I won't let her off easily.
43
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,280
You have my word.
44
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:10,120
Dame Enid,
can I take you through to studio two?
45
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,160
We can't keep Mr Vereker waiting.
46
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,480
Now, James, we have a real treat today,
don't we?
47
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,160
Yes, Sarah. One of England's
leading contemporary composers.
48
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,240
- And she is a Rutshire resident.
- Ooh.
49
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,880
So let's have a warm Cotswold Round-Up
welcome for our special guest,
50
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,720
Dame Edna Spink.
51
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,080
Ooh.
52
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,320
Ooh.
53
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,640
Ooh.
54
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,680
Ah. [chuckles] Well, now that was quite
an entrance, Dame Edna.
55
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,000
May I call you Edna?
56
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,400
As long as you're not going to ask me
to put on a lilac wig
57
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,520
and stuff my bra with loo roll.
58
00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,120
Apologies, Dame Enid.
59
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,800
You really are a dumb blonde,
aren't you, dear?
60
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,320
Well, thank you very much.
61
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,200
- So, uh, judges' desk here.
- Mm-hmm.
62
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,120
Smashing view of
the girls in their swimwear.
63
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,400
- Ah, beauty contest.
- You are not the only show I'm producing.
64
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,600
Miss Corinium is exactly what
the IBA wants to see us doing.
65
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,480
- Good regional wholesome fun.
- Mm-hmm. It was Daysee's brainchild.
66
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,120
Daysee has a brain?
67
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,800
Who knew?
68
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,240
- Um, Declan?
- Yeah.
69
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,400
Did you get me an autograph?
70
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,200
Mrs Thatcher?
71
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:41,040
I'm so sorry, Daysee. I completely forgot.
I'll get it when she comes in, okay?
72
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,400
Okay, so how was the meeting?
73
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,880
You and Rupert looked
pretty cosy in those photos.
74
00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,200
- Was Thatcher friendly?
- Define friendly.
75
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,840
Two boxers circling each other
before the big fight.
76
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,480
Thatcher?
77
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,640
She's my Wembley Stadium.
78
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,400
Do you think I should save
Northern Ireland for part two?
79
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,240
After the Sunday shopping bill?
80
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,360
This matters a lot to you.
81
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:19,760
I have wanted to interview her ever since
she handbagged her way into number ten.
82
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,360
But the BBC would never let me at her,
83
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,840
show everyone who she really is.
84
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,520
Whatever she's doing,
people want more of it.
85
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:29,440
She is selling the state off
to the highest bidder.
86
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,200
Now she has turned this country into
a land of haves and have-nots, Cameron.
87
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,760
And you're one of the haves.
88
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,160
Yeah. Well, I mean...
...I wasn't always.
89
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,840
Declan, sorry to disturb.
90
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,000
Lord B wants you in his office right now.
91
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,360
Pardon me, Joyce.
92
00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:45,920
A friend at Westminster
slipped me something.
93
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,200
You're not going to believe it.
94
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,080
It's a draft of a white paper.
95
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,920
This is embargoed, right?
96
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,040
- Declan.
- Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Joyce.
97
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,640
Um, tell Tony
I'll catch up with him later, all right?
98
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:06,240
"A local authority shall not promote
the teaching in any maintained school
99
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:11,520
of the acceptability of homosexuality
as a pretended family relationship."
100
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:12,680
I mean, it's inhumane.
101
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,400
This is going to make gay people's lives
harder than they already are.
102
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:17,920
Having a tea party?
103
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,120
Inside track in a new
government policy. Fascinating reading.
104
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,040
What do you need?
105
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,800
The PM's office has faxed a list
of questions they want you to ask.
106
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:37,080
"How do you manage to balance
motherhood and your demanding job?"
107
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,280
"D-Do you miss Wilberforce the Cat
now that he's retired?"
108
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,240
Is this a joke?
109
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,920
Well, if you don't agree,
she won't do the interview.
110
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,200
Just tell them we agree.
111
00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,800
And then when I get her on the show,
I can ask me own questions.
112
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,000
You don't care that screwing
the government might risk the franchise?
113
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:57,880
I care that conceding to this shite
risks my reputation, our reputation.
114
00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,240
Tony, he's right.
115
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,480
Once we're live,
she can hardly walk off set, can she?
116
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,720
You promised me editorial freedom, Tony.
117
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,360
I'll ask what I want.
118
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,080
- This is my interview.
- This is my company.
119
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,080
And I don't ask questions
about fucking cats.
120
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,400
Get James Vereker up here now.
121
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:37,560
Tony, I--
122
00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,840
It said Edna on the cue cards.
123
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,960
If anyone's head needs to roll here,
it's Deirdre's.
124
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,000
Sit down.
125
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:17,520
No hard feelings.
126
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,320
The Prime Minister?
127
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,360
Declan is yesterday's news.
128
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,040
I feel honoured
sharing that sofa with you.
129
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:40,640
Well, after my Thatcher interview,
130
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,320
there is a very good chance
you'll be on that sofa alone.
131
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:48,840
I won't be able to film a teatime show
when I've got the prime-time slot.
132
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,400
Well, do you think
I'm good enough to fly solo?
133
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,240
Paul never even watches our show.
134
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,160
Does, um-- Does Lizzie?
135
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,880
Oh, Lizzie?
No, she's always too busy writing.
136
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,280
I don't know why she bothers.
It'll just get rejected like the last one.
137
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,720
Well, if I were your wife, I wouldn't be
able to take my eyes off you for a second.
138
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,640
Oh?
139
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,280
What the fuck are you playing at?
140
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,440
No one wants to see Vereker
interview the Prime Minister.
141
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,880
Better than watching you
interview an empty chair.
142
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,840
You'll have to get Rupert back
for another love-in.
143
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,920
Oh, okay.
144
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,920
This is because I didn't eviscerate Rupert
for you like you wanted?
145
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,800
No, it's because you won't do
what you're bloody well told.
146
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,440
I bring 20 million viewers
to your station each week.
147
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,400
If you don't like the way I work,
then I quit.
148
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:50,040
You might own Corinium, Tony,
but you don't own me.
149
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,400
Hmm. As it happens, I sort of do.
150
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,120
Firstly, there's that tax bill
I cleared for you.
151
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:03,280
Secondly, well,
I was warned you were hard to control.
152
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,480
Luckily, I got a little insurance policy.
153
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,240
Patrick's, uh, godfather, I gather,
154
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,000
got rather close to Maud
last year, didn't he?
155
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,720
Your wife certainly
likes a man with a moustache.
156
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,920
You have no idea.
157
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,960
Maud and I don't have secrets.
158
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,040
All right.
159
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,880
But I wonder how happy
young Taggie is gonna be
160
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,240
when she sees her mother's naked arse
across the centrefold of the Scorpion.
161
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,640
Be sure to cancel any plans
you have for Friday night.
162
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,000
Your 20 million viewers will be
watching you judge a beauty contest.
163
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,080
Bingo.
164
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,600
Fuck!
165
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,000
Fuck!
166
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,840
- You're home early.
- I've taken the week off.
167
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,800
I can finally fix the roof.
168
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,280
And mow the lawn.
169
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,840
So, what about Mrs Thatcher?
170
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,880
- Tony's given it to Vereker.
- Why? What did you do?
171
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,840
I didn't do anything.
172
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,840
Well, I'm surprised you
didn't resign on the spot then.
173
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,680
I would have, but as it turns out,
I couldn't.
174
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,200
What does that mean?
175
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:02,920
Prime Minister.
176
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,480
Yes, Mr Vereker.
177
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,200
How is it you manage
to be the perfect woman,
178
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,480
balancing motherhood and
our country with such effortless grace?
179
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:16,640
Well, any woman
who understands the problems
180
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,960
of running a home
181
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:25,160
will be nearer to understanding
the difficulties of running a country.
182
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,080
And next, the one about
her relationship with Reagan?
183
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,600
No, I'd go for
something more personal,
184
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,960
while you have her in a soft mood.
185
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,320
Oh, yeah. You might be right.
186
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,600
This is fun, isn't it?
187
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,240
Like your days on the Bristol Post
when we used to practise together.
188
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,480
- Got another one. Ready?
- Yes.
189
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,840
Okay. Uh...
190
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,920
How do the men in your cabinet
respond to your authority, Prime Minister?
191
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,160
Well,
Mr Vereker-- Or can I call you James?
192
00:12:53,880 --> 00:13:00,160
The way I see it,
being powerful is like being a lady.
193
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,320
If you have to tell people you are...
194
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,480
...then you aren't.
195
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,040
What are you doing?
196
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,920
Just trying to have a bit of fun.
197
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,240
- Please don't.
- Okay.
198
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,720
- You're not 26 anymore.
- No.
199
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,320
Um... [sighs] ...right.
200
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,600
The train
now arriving on platform two
201
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,640
is the 8:36 to London Paddington.
202
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,520
"Letty's nipples hardened
with desire
203
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,680
as Ferdy led her through the kitchen.
204
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:40,760
And in the darkness of the scullery,
he lifted her red taffeta skirt.
205
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,360
His fingers sought out
the ladder in her tights.
206
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,720
'I love a ladder,'
Ferdy whispered gruffly.
207
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,000
'Stairway to heaven and all that.'
208
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,160
Letty gasped urgently
209
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:57,760
as he lingered on
the soft fleshy openings in the nylon.
210
00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,240
Step by step, he climbed
his way up her inner thigh
211
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:07,280
until he could feel
the biblical heat of her burning bush."
212
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,400
You're a genius.
213
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,880
It's going to be a smash hit.
214
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:20,560
Darling, we both know this isn't James.
215
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,640
You simply have to be playing away.
216
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,320
Oh, I've-- I've been
far too busy writing, Carole.
217
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,200
You know what they say.
Keep the drama on the page.
218
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,640
I've never heard such nonsense.
219
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:34,240
Now tell me. This man of yours, our hero,
220
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,640
he's simply too good not to be true.
221
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,400
Freddie Jones.
222
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,520
What are you doing here?
223
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,040
Long, hard day at the coalface.
I saw you running down the platform.
224
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,120
Oh, lunch ran on.
225
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,960
I was plied with champagne
and completely lost track of time.
226
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,760
Gentlemen buying you champagne,
no less than you deserve.
227
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,680
Today was good.
228
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,400
I was actually celebrating with my agent.
229
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,640
She loved the first
three chapters of my book.
230
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,720
Well, why don't we continue
the celebration in first class?
231
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,440
I only have a second-class ticket.
232
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,800
If the conductor comes,
I'll pay the difference.
233
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,280
Come on.
234
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,440
I can't imagine how clever
you got to be to write a book.
235
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:37,080
I don't think I could have done any of it
without your incredible equipment.
236
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:40,840
I mean, your word processor.
237
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,160
Oh. Ah.
238
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,240
- Mmm.
- No, no. Valerie would kill me.
239
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,400
She's got me on the Scarsdale diet.
240
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,040
I've only had two boiled eggs today.
241
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,160
Well, then you must eat.
242
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,560
Is it fruit cake?
243
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,600
- I made it.
- Giz it here.
244
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,400
Personally, I find
diets have the opposite effect.
245
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,160
They just make me fatter.
246
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,480
Oh, wow.
247
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,680
Tickets, please.
Ladies and gents, have your tickets ready.
248
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,640
Looks like we're not gonna
get away with it after all.
249
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,280
No, you don't. Complete waste of money.
250
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,160
Come on. We're nearly at our stop.
251
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,040
Lock it.
252
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,720
Bit of a tight squeeze.
253
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,040
Maybe we should
both be on the Scarsdale diet.
254
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,160
Perhaps I should have just paid.
255
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,320
Absolutely not.
256
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,240
And miss all the fun?
257
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,800
Next stop, Cotchester.
258
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,720
We will shortly be arriving
at Cotchester station.
259
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,040
Thank you for saving me £2.50.
260
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,360
Thank you for saving me
from falling asleep
261
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,840
and waking up in Gloucester.
262
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,360
The train now
leaving platform one...
263
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,720
My chapters.
264
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,720
Oh, I left them.
265
00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,760
Bugger.
266
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,320
No.
267
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,280
Careful, Freddie.
268
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,360
Oh.
269
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,920
- Keeping busy, Charles?
- Good morning, Tony.
270
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,320
Morning, girls.
271
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,640
Excited to meet the Iron Lady?
272
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,120
You should be. She's the only woman
I've ever met
273
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,720
who's a tougher bitch than you.
274
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,720
I hope you're not still sulking.
275
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,120
The country wants to see
Thatcher locking horns with Declan,
276
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,760
not that dipshit, James Vereker.
277
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,320
This is self-sabotage, Tony.
278
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,200
Call Declan.
He can be here in half an hour.
279
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,440
Forget Declan.
I've got something to cheer you up.
280
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:15,760
Cuatros Hombres Agrícolas
has been nominated for an award.
281
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,080
Four Men Went To Mow.
282
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,040
You're gonna need to
brush up on your Spanish
283
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,160
if you're gonna go to Málaga
next month to collect it.
284
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,160
- An award?
- We're big in Spain, apparently.
285
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,080
What say we go together?
286
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,600
Stay in a hotel, walk the red carpet.
287
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,880
Just the two of us.
288
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,440
Hmm.
289
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:38,880
Now am I forgiven?
290
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,760
- Call Declan.
- No.
291
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,880
All right, everyone.
True Blue Tory smiles, please.
292
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,120
Where's the photographer?
293
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,760
Come on. Come on. Up front. Right there.
294
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,520
Get the shot as soon
as she steps out the car, yes?
295
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,280
A nice big one for the office wall.
296
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,640
Is that-- She's due, right?
297
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,640
- Yeah, she's due. She's late.
- That's all right.
298
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,840
There she is. Come on, you lot,
we're making history here!
299
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,360
Come on! Imagine it's George Michael.
300
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,800
Mrs Thatcher, welcome to Corinium.
301
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,840
{\an8} And now for
a very special episode of Declan,
302
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,680
featuring none other than our
Prime Minister, Mrs Thatcher.
303
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,360
Ladies and gentlemen,
304
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:57,000
please welcome to the stage
tonight's guest presenter, James Vereker.
305
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,280
Stop it. You're too kind.
306
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:02,760
I know what you're thinking.
307
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,440
"When did Declan become so handsome?"
308
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,360
Got some ingredients for a Bolognese.
309
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,600
I thought it might tempt
Daddy out of his study.
310
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,240
He's watching the interview.
311
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,680
Mummy, you should have stopped him.
312
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,600
A long time since I've had any influence.
313
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,760
Don't cook for me.
314
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:24,920
Not hungry.
315
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,000
- Yes?
- Malhar, darling.
316
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,800
Uh, did I disturb you?
317
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,200
Everything about you disturbs me,
Mrs O'Hara.
318
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,840
I can't bear it any longer.
I need to see you.
319
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,480
What's wrong with your father?
They're saying he's ill.
320
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:04,880
Where is he?
321
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,080
Declan?
322
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,680
Declan?
323
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,520
People are saying you're ill.
324
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,200
- You don't look ill, just paralytic.
- Fuck off, Rupert.
325
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:29,440
The PM knew you'd never show
her caring side, so she dodged the fight.
326
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:30,520
She knows what she's doing.
327
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,000
And now, thanks to James Vereker,
328
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,280
we all know
what Denis got for his birthday.
329
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,160
And that she swaps recipes
with Nancy Reagan.
330
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,160
Tony should have let me at her, Rupert.
331
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,040
- Give me the bottle. Jesus.
- Give me that.
332
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,320
- Taggie.
- Stop it.
333
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:46,600
Come on.
334
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,520
Come on. Up you get, big boy.
335
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,600
Up, up, up, up, up.
336
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,720
I'm sorry, Tag.
337
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,960
He'll have one hell
of a hangover in the morning.
338
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,160
He has one every morning now.
339
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,160
Mummy's given up, so it's all me and--
340
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:13,840
I don't know how men work.
341
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,000
It's people. I don't understand them.
342
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,040
How to help them.
343
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,160
Could you--
344
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:26,160
Yeah, I'm gonna be here first thing.
I'll bring him round. Don't worry.
345
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,040
Your supper's gone cold.
346
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,800
I can heat it up.
There's more if you wanna stay.
347
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,440
See you in the morning.
348
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,840
Ferdy's hands
roamed over Letty's back and hips,
349
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,560
gripping her tightly as he drove
her towards the edge of pleasure.
350
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,080
Finally, with a cry of release,
they both came together,
351
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,280
their bodies convulsing with
the force of their shared orgasm.
352
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,000
- Freddie!
- Good morning.
353
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,840
Well, today and every day this week,
354
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,120
- we're going to be in the studio...
- Fred-Fred!
355
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,320
- Fred-Fred!
- Shit.
356
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,080
What on earth is going on?
The Green Goddess is waiting.
357
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,560
Were you looking at pornography?
358
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:23,920
I swear on my life I was not.
359
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,360
It's you look sexy in that.
360
00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:28,880
Honestly, Frederick, time and a place.
361
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,920
And now we've missed our chance
to go for the burn.
362
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,400
Freddie.
363
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,320
I wanted to bring this back.
364
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,280
That was so kind of you.
365
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,280
You looked like Superman...
366
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,800
...running after the train.
367
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,440
I'm sorry, I, uh...
368
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,760
I wondered if you might
agree to come to lunch with me.
369
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,000
I mean, not now.
370
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,640
Not in my dressing gown.
371
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,680
I was thinking maybe the Black Horse
in Bisley, you know, it's very, uh--
372
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,280
Discreet.
373
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:39,480
Exactly.
374
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,560
I can't tell you how many times
in the last few weeks
375
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,400
I've hoped you'd ask me
a question like this.
376
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,280
Now you're here...
377
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,120
I realise that I can't.
378
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,440
I'm so sorry, Freddie.
379
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,040
Uh, I'm married.
380
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,920
Thank you, though, for asking...
381
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:11,560
and for the manuscript.
382
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,640
I hope you don't mind...
383
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,200
I read your chapters.
384
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,280
Oh.
385
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,160
They were brilliant...
386
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,520
and sexy...
387
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,120
like you.
388
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,520
Thank you.
389
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,520
Mummy, where are you?
390
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,040
Mummy!
391
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:57,040
Coming.
392
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,760
Thank you.
393
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,960
- There she is.
- Taggie.
394
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,080
Oh, my God.
Caitlin, have you been expelled?
395
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,840
I've got an exeat.
396
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:16,400
I'm used to Mummy and Daddy
forgetting about me, not you, Tag.
397
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,640
Caught her
hitchhiking from Cotchester Station.
398
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,240
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
399
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,680
- Your father where I left him?
- Hmm. Yeah.
400
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,320
I'm taking him out.
401
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:25,400
Thank you.
402
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,840
Declan, we're going to lunch,
then I want your opinion on a horse.
403
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,040
Is Mummy still in bed too?
404
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,680
No, she left before I got up.
405
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:45,320
Just here?
406
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,520
Keep the change, yeah? Thank you.
407
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,440
Ah. It's not like you to be early.
408
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,160
I've missed you.
409
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,440
Oh, it's very tempting.
410
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,880
But I actually have
something else in mind.
411
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,080
Henry Hampshire spotted him the other day.
412
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,480
Alan doesn't realise
how good his bloodline is.
413
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,200
His grandsire was a marvel.
414
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:31,880
Look how long the legs are.
415
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,240
Is that what you look for?
416
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,680
This age, you want them still
a bit gangly, awkward.
417
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,680
Bit of an ugly gelding,
but you can see the swan he'll grow into.
418
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,680
Sometimes you can just tell by the eyes.
419
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,280
A lot to be said for a pair of kind,
honest eyes.
420
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,400
What's his name?
421
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,160
Hmm, Venturer.
422
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,240
Hmm.
423
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:01,800
Yeah, sold. Alan?
424
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,720
I'll take him off your hands,
see what I can do with him.
425
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:04,840
Shall we say two and a half?
426
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,160
Sorry,
Mr Campbell-Black.
427
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,440
I've just had an offer
I can't afford to refuse.
428
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,640
What the fuck, Freddie?
429
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,240
Sorry, Rupe, didn't know it was you.
430
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,400
Hampshire tipped me off.
He was going on the low side.
431
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,840
I don't like doing things on the cheap,
so I've offered him five grand.
432
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,200
Fi--
433
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,440
I've always wanted a racehorse.
434
00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:26,600
Unless you fancy a syndicate.
435
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,360
Valerie was fuming.
436
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:38,080
You-- You know,
she thinks you're a very bad man.
437
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,760
- Oh, is she a good judge of character?
- She's had practise.
438
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,080
She's been judging my character
since we were 15.
439
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:44,960
- Fifteen?
- Yeah, she's a good girl.
440
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,800
She's stuck by me through thick and thin.
441
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:51,800
You know, I've--
I've never even had another girlfriend.
442
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,680
He's speechless. Look at him.
443
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:56,680
Look.
444
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,000
Still, you two lads make an odd couple.
445
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,800
How did you become so friendly?
446
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,080
Well, we met just after I moved down here
447
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,360
and then we got chatting
after a few months,
448
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,720
and it turns out
we're allergic to the same thing.
449
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:11,720
Bullshit?
450
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,120
Baddingham!
451
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,840
Let's not waste time
on that bastard.
452
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:20,320
Let's drink to the horse
that brought us together today.
453
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,640
Venturer.
454
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,120
- Venturer!
- Yeah.
455
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,360
Girls, not long till show time.
456
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:30,440
Yeah, well, remember, guys...
457
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,640
Remember, everyone,
this is a beauty contest,
458
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,040
so tits out, shoulders back.
459
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:41,880
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
460
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,400
I got it from Littlewoods.
461
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,480
Like it?
462
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,800
- I didn't know you were a contestant.
- Right, everyone.
463
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:49,560
Ready for the final rehearsal?
464
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:50,960
- First positions, please.
- Cameron.
465
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,720
Cameron. Reverend Penney's car
hasn't arrived
466
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,080
and Rutshire Cabs can't get to him
for at least an hour.
467
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,400
What? Penney is our most important judge.
We need him here now.
468
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,520
I could get him... if I had a car.
469
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:04,600
Take mine.
470
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,200
Hi. Hello. Hi, everyone. Hello.
471
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,880
Hello, ladies.
472
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,640
Looking forward
to getting to know you all.
473
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,560
- Can I show you my special talent?
- Um, quite.
474
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:18,680
I loved your interview with Mrs Thatcher.
So caring.
475
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,200
{\an8}Thank you so much, Miss, um, Bisley.
476
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,400
Josh,
then introduce the judges,
477
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,680
Wesley Emerson, Wesley Emerson.
478
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,200
Reverend Penney, Penney, Penney, Penney.
479
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,680
Penney for your thoughts. Spend a Penney.
480
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,080
Penney, Penney, Penney, Penney--
481
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,000
{\an8}Good Lord, Sarah. Bloody hell.
482
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,160
{\an8}I'm so thrilled to be one
of the final six contestants.
483
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,520
Do you think there's a chance
I might take home the crown tonight?
484
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:48,840
Oh.
485
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:50,360
Um...
486
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,080
Well, Miss Cotchester...
487
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,520
...that depends on your...
488
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:57,920
...s-special talent,
489
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:00,720
doesn't it?
490
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,000
Yes, Sarah. Oh.
491
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,880
Oh, naughty Sarah. Yes, oh.
492
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,520
What can I do? I can't leave.
493
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,560
- Leave him. He's not worth it.
- No. Look,
494
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:37,360
if I didn't have
a-a-a truly gargantuan mortgage, I--
495
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,240
Fuck the mortgage.
496
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,040
I would tell him
where to stick his beauty contest.
497
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,200
Jesus, what time is it?
498
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:45,720
It's just gone 5:00. Why?
499
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:48,800
I'm supposed to be judging Miss Corinium.
500
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,280
That field. Uh, just--
just up ahead there.
501
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,480
Uh, pull in there, child.
502
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,400
I promised my producer
I'd be as quick as possible. I--
503
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,320
Just here. Just here.
504
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,080
There's a beautiful view. You should see.
505
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,680
Great. Let's go straight away again
from the top, please, girls.
506
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,880
Cue playback. At five, six, seven, eight.
507
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:22,280
Smiling.
508
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,000
Someone's on the wrong hip.
509
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,360
Uh, sir, it's very lovely,
but we're already late.
510
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,800
Um, we should go.
511
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:35,760
What did you say your name was, dear?
512
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,280
Daysee, sir.
513
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:38,800
Daysee.
514
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,520
Great. Come down single file.
515
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,400
Straight down the lens, girls,
so really big smiles.
516
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:51,840
Gorgeous. Beautiful.
Yes. Lovely, lovely. Yes.
517
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:57,520
Manley Hopkins thought that spring
was rejoicing in life's juices.
518
00:32:58,160 --> 00:32:59,680
What do you think, Daysee?
519
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,120
- Hmm?
- I think that...
520
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,920
No.
521
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,120
Yes, ladies.
522
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,320
Please, stop.
523
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,920
Up. Up. Up
524
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,920
And back. Hold it there.
525
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,360
Whose idea was the big number?
526
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:45,160
Daysee's.
527
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,960
- It's not half bad.
- Well done, Daysee.
528
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,600
Now, come on, girl. We're late.
529
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,200
I mean, that golden duck
at the Oval.
530
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,560
That'll go down in history.
531
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,000
Ah, you're too kind.
532
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,560
Are you trying to make me
same colour as James Vereker?
533
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,160
Welcome to the Cotswolds.
534
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,160
Uh, Sandra, a little bit of that
translucent powder is probably best.
535
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,800
Cameron Cook. Controller of Programmes.
536
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,280
Stole her from the Yanks.
Most talented woman I've ever met.
537
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,840
- I don't doubt it.
- Make sure Wesley gets star treatment.
538
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,160
He is one of my
all-time cricketing heroes.
539
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:32,920
This way, Your Eminence.
540
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,560
Reverend.
I'm so glad you made it.
541
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,480
I trust my staff have
taken good care of you.
542
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:38,880
Oh, indeed, they have, Tony.
543
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,240
And, uh, from what I've seen so far...
544
00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,640
...the franchise is safe.
545
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,840
Oh, so pleased
to have your support, Fergus.
546
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,160
Now I've gotta get a show on the road.
Drinks on me afterwards, yes?
547
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,240
Oh, good.
548
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,200
What on earth happened to you?
549
00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,080
Okay, come on. Come on.
550
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,120
Here you go.
551
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:10,520
Who did this to you?
552
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,680
You have to tell me who it was.
553
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,600
Silence only protects
the monster who did this.
554
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,200
I promise you.
555
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,920
I will make them pay.
556
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:27,320
If you don't report him, dear,
557
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,280
what about all the other innocent girls
he might prey on next?
558
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,960
I offered to drive to help with your bid.
559
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,640
Please don't be cross with me.
560
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,320
You've done nothing wrong.
561
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,200
No one's gonna be angry with you.
562
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,560
It was the Reverend Penney.
563
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:15,800
You certain you didn't lead him on?
564
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,720
You're such a friendly girl.
565
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,640
No. I-- I--
566
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,480
I was really professional.
567
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,240
You know Reverend Penney's
very important to us, don't you?
568
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,040
I know you're a team player.
569
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,560
Valued member of the Corinium family.
570
00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:04,720
So...
571
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,640
let's forget this whole thing
ever happened. Don't you think?
572
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:16,800
That's a good girl.
573
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:18,840
You're gonna go far here.
574
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:24,560
I'm sure Miss Madden
will help... tidy yourself up.
575
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:25,880
Good girl.
576
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,040
Sorry, it's all wardrobe had.
577
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,240
All this talk of equal rights,
nothing really changes.
578
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,280
One rule for them, one for us.
579
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,920
Di-Did I spoil everything for the bid?
580
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,640
Not at all.
581
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,240
He'll get off scot-free.
582
00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:54,440
He won't think he's done a thing wrong.
583
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:03,640
This terrible thing which has
happened to you is your secret.
584
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:06,440
It's also your weapon.
585
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:09,800
Use it to get what you want from them.
586
00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:12,080
Do you hear me?
587
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,560
Don't be sad. Be angry.
588
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,360
It'll serve you better, dear.
589
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,920
Goodness sake. Come on.
590
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,200
Ooh, hello. Just a few sips.
591
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:30,200
- You can lead a horse to water, Seb...
- Declan, please.
592
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:34,840
Hey, Daysee. Nice dress.
593
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:40,320
Daysee? Daysee, what's wrong?
594
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,400
What's happened, Joyce?
595
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,200
Daysee. Daysee, wait.
596
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:46,920
Daysee.
597
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:53,000
From the Welsh Borders
to the dreaming spires of Oxford.
598
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,520
From Southampton to Stratford-upon-Avon.
599
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,720
Live from Cotchester,
this is Miss Corinium.
600
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,960
And here are your hosts,
601
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,440
James Vereker and Sarah Stratton.
602
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,600
Right, here we go. Show time.
603
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,400
Caitlin, it's starting!
604
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,920
Good evening. Good evening.
605
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,800
- Thank you.
- I've got popcorn.
606
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,560
What an array of jewels
we have here tonight, Sarah,
607
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:17,960
and I don't just mean the tiaras.
608
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,000
The girls waiting backstage
this evening are gems, are they not?
609
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,120
They certainly are, James.
610
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,320
- I know a diamond when I see one...
- Two minutes left of intro.
611
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,040
...especially being a bit of
a sparkler myself.
612
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,840
- Indeed you are.
- Standby, audience cutaways on three.
613
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:31,720
Sarah, you're an absolute bobby-dazzler.
614
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:34,360
Your husband is a very lucky man.
615
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,440
Sarah's looking sensational,
don't you think?
616
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,120
- Mm-hmm.
- All mine, of course.
617
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,800
Only 'cause she's already
been everyone else's.
618
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:46,960
...but she will also win a screen test
to become our new teatime weather girl.
619
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,880
Standby judges cutaways on two.
620
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,080
...before we meet our contestants,
let's meet our judging panel.
621
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,840
First up, it's demon bowler
and local cricketing hero,
622
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,400
Wesley Emerson.
623
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,560
And then of course, there's
Corinium's very own Declan O'Hara.
624
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:12,560
Back in the saddle today after his brief
indisposition earlier in the week.
625
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,880
And here to ensure
we're all behaving ourselves,
626
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,520
ex-prebendary from the Church of England,
Reverend Fergus Penney.
627
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:27,200
Please give a big round of applause
for our judging panel.
628
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,320
Miss Chipping Sodbury is 21 years old.
629
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,800
She's training to be a driving instructor.
630
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:40,120
She looks so pretty.
631
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,640
- Yeah.
- ...enjoys breeding miniature poodles.
632
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,080
Oh, to be a creature in
Miss Chipping Sodbury's care.
633
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:46,840
Last Friday, we danced against Rugborough,
634
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:49,360
and one lot of boys took some
fifth-formers up on the garage roof,
635
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:53,280
and they were smoking and drinking
and telling the teachers to fuck off.
636
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,600
Oh,
637
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,520
and the gym mistress found
three condoms in the rhododendrons.
638
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,360
- She's now focusing on planning...
- That's nice.
639
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,920
...her upcoming wedding.
640
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,440
But Rupert's nicer, hey?
641
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,080
Shut up.
642
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:08,640
- Each of our contestants tonight...
- Okay three,
643
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,400
- hold the two shot. Four...
- ...also has a special talent.
644
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,920
- ...take the close-ups.
- It's going really well.
645
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,920
...spinning her way into our hearts.
646
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,000
That's my sister!
647
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:28,960
Awesome!
648
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,680
Isn't she good?
649
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,000
Hip-notic.
650
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:54,000
Miss Wotton-under-Edge is
a fabulous 5'7" tall
651
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,280
and is a full 33, 25, 36.
652
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:05,360
Shite.
653
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,240
- Now, judges, Miss Bisley stands...
- Are you drunk?
654
00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:10,120
...at an elegant 5'4".
655
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,720
Her measurements are 36, 24, 36.
656
00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:15,600
Some might describe her
as perfection itself.
657
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,160
Reverend Penney,
are you looking for perfection tonight?
658
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:32,080
Oh, uh, well,
perfection is not my concern.
659
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:36,000
The qualities that I'm looking for
in the inaugural Miss Corinium,
660
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,440
uh, consists of, uh,
661
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:41,960
a healthy body and sound morals.
662
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,680
You filthy, hypocritical, old git.
663
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:49,560
Fucking hell.
664
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,600
What the fuck is he doing? Cut the feed.
665
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,000
Cut the feed.
666
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,440
Jesus H. Christ.
I only left the house for a minute.
667
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:00,600
What just happened?
668
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:02,480
Oh, my God. Mummy.
669
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:07,400
Um, gosh.
670
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,120
- Not so brave now, are you?
- Oh, my...
671
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:10,680
You'll get what's coming to you.
672
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,600
Answer the phone.
673
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,080
He's ruined everything.
674
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,040
Answer the bloody phone.
675
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,720
Just do it!
676
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:47,880
You let that religious fraud get away
with raping one of your employees
677
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:53,680
and then you parade all those young girls
in front of him like a fucking menu?
678
00:43:56,040 --> 00:44:00,880
I am out of this cesspit for good.
679
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,120
Mm-hmm. You flouted my authority
at every opportunity,
680
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,520
but I'm not sure
we can let you go just yet.
681
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:08,120
Hmm.
682
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,560
Don't touch me.
683
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,520
How does it feel, Tony? Huh?
684
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,720
How does it feel to be weak
685
00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:19,160
- and hopeless?
- I'll have you locked up for GBH.
686
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,120
I'd be freer inside than
I ever will be working for you.
687
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,760
Fuck you.
688
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:29,600
I quit.
689
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,080
Always so melodramatic.
You missed your calling.
690
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,640
Well, enjoy the morning papers.
691
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,880
You should probably let Maud know
she's gonna be a star again.
692
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:02,960
Bloody hell.
693
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:06,160
I'd hate to see
what he does with a driver.
694
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,200
Are you okay?
695
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:20,960
Can I give you a lift somewhere?
696
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,000
You should call the police, Daysee.
697
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:28,880
Report that sick bastard.
698
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:33,760
She told you.
699
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,240
And that's why you hit him.
700
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,880
I didn't
need your help, Declan.
701
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:51,400
I'm sorry, Daysee.
I-I just...
702
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:56,720
Daysee.
703
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,200
Why couldn't you have
kept your mouth shut?
704
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:12,480
Just quit my job.
705
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,240
Get in the car, lads. Let's get rat-arsed.
706
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,240
As I say, Declan O'Hara will be
707
00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:25,920
strongly dealt with
in the coming days, very publicly too.
708
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,400
Good.
709
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,680
Whilst I don't hold
with vengeance,
710
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,960
there's no place for violence
and vulgarity on our screens.
711
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:35,880
No, no, you have my word, Fergus.
712
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,640
Thank you.
713
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:39,960
Deirdre! Deirdre.
714
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,160
Deirdre, please make sure
the Reverend Penney gets home safely.
715
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,360
Yes, Lord Baddingham.
716
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:47,560
Order a minicab, Deirdre.
717
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,920
- Bye, Fergus.
- Bye, Tony.
718
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:01,040
I'll get the glaziers in.
719
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:06,560
Have this delivered to Beattie Johnson
at the Scorpion from an anonymous source.
720
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:14,880
Miss Madden! Joyce!
721
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,840
- Has anyone been in my office?
- Not to my knowledge.
722
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,920
Fuck!
723
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:33,480
Is he dead?
724
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,840
He will be when Mummy's done with him.
725
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,240
Oh, fuck.
726
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:01,600
Hmm.
727
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:17,760
I don't wanna be that woman who's waiting
for her husband to come home.
728
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,760
It's-- It's not me.
729
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,560
I need to go back to work.
730
00:48:27,560 --> 00:48:30,400
Well, that's good
because I resigned last night.
731
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,800
It will be easier for you
if we go back to London.
732
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,320
I saw Malhar.
733
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,600
I-- I asked him if I could audition
for his new show.
734
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,400
I mean, there's nothing in it for me.
I'm too old.
735
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:55,920
I'm sorry, love.
736
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,080
You should've told me.
737
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,120
What happened to us?
738
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:08,680
Can we fix it?
739
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,680
Who the fuck is that?
740
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:27,800
Fuck.
741
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:36,640
Is Tony trying to hound me into the grave?
742
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,000
He doesn't know I'm here.
743
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,080
- I shouldn't have told you about Daysee.
- Yeah?
744
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,200
I'd probably have hit
the old pervert anyway.
745
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:56,960
Sometimes Lord Baddingham needs
a bit of help to steer the right course.
746
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,040
Thank you.
747
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:08,640
Gertrude!
748
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:12,000
Gertrude! Oh, come back!
749
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:14,120
Gertrude!
750
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:21,360
You all right?
751
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:25,280
- Can I walk with you?
- No, you can't.
752
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,080
I asked for your help,
and you got him drunk
753
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,120
and let him implode on live television.
754
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:30,280
He's a grown man, Taggie.
755
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:31,520
We are in so much debt.
756
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,720
We can't afford the mortgage
without Daddy working.
757
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:36,480
- Mummy's already packing.
- What are you talking about?
758
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:42,840
This is the only place I have ever loved,
and now we have to leave.
759
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:44,520
He's Declan O'Hara.
760
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,120
He'll find another job.
761
00:50:47,720 --> 00:50:49,280
Not here.
762
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:51,320
Gertrude, come on.
763
00:50:56,640 --> 00:51:00,000
You know, I could've told you
you and Declan were never gonna work out.
764
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:02,680
Neither of you could bear
not being big dog.
765
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,280
- So am I big dog now?
- You're the last dog standing.
766
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,720
- So what do we do now?
- Hmm.
767
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:12,200
We have to put something out there.
768
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:14,400
Not an apology.
769
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:16,600
- Oh, God, no.
- Mmm.
770
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,200
He's the one who threw all the punches.
771
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,400
It's not your fault
he can't handle provocation.
772
00:51:24,240 --> 00:51:28,720
And of course, he's also the one
with the drinking problem.
773
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:33,960
- Mm-hmm?
- Mmm. Very good.
774
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:40,600
Declan O'Hara tendered
his resignation last night
775
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,400
and we regretfully accepted.
776
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:46,240
Uh, we have every concern
for the well-being of all our staff,
777
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:49,480
but Corinium Television
cannot tolerate violence,
778
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:54,560
particularly towards a vulnerable
and senior guest in our building.
779
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,240
We send Declan our best wishes and support
780
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:01,080
- as he seeks help for his alcoholism...
- Ugh. Turn it off.
781
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:02,640
...and mental disturbance.
782
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:08,280
Where is he?
783
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,960
Don't look so grim.
Frederico and I have a brilliant new plan.
784
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:25,640
No offence,
but I'll give it a miss.
785
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:28,120
One afternoon with you lads
nearly finished me off.
786
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,640
Yeah. We're going back to London.
787
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,080
Sorry, Maud. We can't let ya.
788
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:33,320
It's business.
Can't let a hot property go to waste.
789
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,200
We're starting a production company
and you're gonna run it.
790
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:38,560
Partnership.
791
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,640
We're gonna work together. It'll be fun.
792
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,360
We'd trust you on the creative stuff.
793
00:52:44,240 --> 00:52:46,520
- Sorry, lads, but I can't.
- Why not?
794
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:49,400
You'd be your own master. Like you wanted.
795
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,160
Because I think we should pitch
for the franchise.
796
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,440
But that would mean--
797
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,680
The mother of all takeovers.
798
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,080
Drive Tony Baddingham
out of town once and for all.
799
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,280
I think we've got it in us, don't you?