1 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,600 This is your captain speaking, 2 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,600 keep your eyes on the board. We're about to go supersonic. 3 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,320 Ninety-seven, 98... 4 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:54,760 Ninety-nine! 5 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,040 Did we break the sound barrier? 6 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000 Sorry, Mr Campbell-Black. I didn't know it was you in there. 7 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,840 Enjoying your flight, Rupert? 8 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,920 Tony Baddingham. 9 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,000 Do you know Beattie Johnson from the Scorpion? 10 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,400 Oh, no, but I hear great things. 11 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,120 Did the prime minister give you permission 12 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,840 to fuck a journalist in the onboard toilet? 13 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,200 Loo, Tony. Don't be plebeian. 14 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,080 Beattie's ghosting my memoirs, 15 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,200 and I always believe in laying one's ghost. 16 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:08,840 Oh, Beattie. What's your angle? 17 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,480 Champion showjumper put out to pasture? 18 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,840 Now a powerless backbench politician, casting around for his next hobby? 19 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,480 Never quite achieving the success he once had. 20 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,920 What were you doing in New York? 21 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,560 Whoring yourself around advertisers? 22 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,600 You know, if you don't start spending some of that fortune you're coining 23 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,120 on making decent television, you're gonna lose your business. 24 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,520 Very much in hand. Just recruited a hot shit young producer. 25 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:33,600 Who? 26 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,480 Hmm. Cameron Cook. 27 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,280 Never heard of him. 28 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,240 You will. 29 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,800 Desperate to work for Corinium. Bit my hand off, in fact. 30 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,600 Hope it didn't bleed on your nice suit. 31 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,480 Wake me when we hit Mach 2. 32 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,960 Drug use, pornography, easier divorce, rampant homosexuality. 33 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:54,560 Recent studies have shown 34 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:59,000 that HIV isn't exclusively a homosexual disease, Deputy Prime Minister. 35 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,880 Oh, but loveless rutting. 36 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,600 The promiscuous encounters that characterise a Saturday night in Soho. 37 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,440 Those are the preconditions for this virus which threatens-- 38 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,120 The precondition, Deputy Prime Minister, 39 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,840 is the Victorian conservatism of the Tory government, 40 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,720 which is narrow-minded, hypocritical and, quite frankly, cruel. 41 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,800 - Okay. And cut there. Thank you. - We're in the proc-- 42 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,280 - Ready to go again. - He can say gay sex is loveless rutting, 43 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,600 but I can't make a small comment about the government? 44 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,240 BBC editorial policy, Declan. 45 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,800 Sorry, Deputy Prime Minister. 46 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,240 - We're going again. - Yeah. 47 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,680 Cue Declan. 48 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,240 Mr Stratton, yourself and Mrs Stratton have been married, what, 15 years? 49 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,640 Fifteen in April. Yeah. 50 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:42,000 Three children, a wife, a mistress and an all-consuming job. 51 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,080 It must be difficult to juggle everything. 52 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,560 - What? - Uh, though your wife, Winifred, 53 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,720 has been staying at her family's Pimlico apartment, 54 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,800 which must have made it easier for you to spend time with your, uh, 55 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,400 29-year-old secretary, Miss Sarah Price, 56 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,080 who proudly told our researchers that you have the girth and stamina 57 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,080 to compete with any championship racehorse. 58 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,800 Is that a fair comment to make, sir? 59 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,240 I, uh-- Well-- The-- 60 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,720 Cut. Cut. 61 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,120 I would look to your own glass house, Deputy Prime Minister, 62 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,880 before you start throwing rocks at others'. 63 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,520 Declan, if we could just do another take without the slander. 64 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,600 Fuck off, Alistair. 65 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,120 Fucking prick. 66 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:24,080 ...fucking... [mutters] ...bullshit. 67 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,240 Fucking... 68 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:32,440 Fuck. 69 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,640 Don't know whose bloomers are in more of a twist tonight, 70 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,640 Auntie's or the prime minister's. 71 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,200 We both know the BBC won't show tonight's episode. 72 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,600 I've said it before, Lord Baddingham. I'm happy here. 73 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,640 And I'm not interested in commercial television. 74 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:03,320 Oh. 75 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,360 Director general calling to say you've been a naughty boy? 76 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,440 I'm offering you freedom. 77 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,960 I saw your interview with Reagan. I bet they hacked out some corkers. 78 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,200 We'd put you out live. 79 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,080 - Live? - Complete editorial control. 80 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,600 Skewer the bastards on air. 81 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,400 It's halfway around the world before anyone's got a chance to complain. 82 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,400 Satellite's coming. We're going global. 83 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,400 It's exciting. 84 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,280 You're stuck here with a load of librarians 85 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,280 when you could be an astronaut. 86 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,480 I'd have to persuade Maud. 87 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,200 Massive house in the country? She'd love it. 88 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,520 What's a Wicklow man like you doing in Fulham, dodging litter and dog shit? 89 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,440 Come to the Cotswolds. 90 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,320 Even I have to wince sometimes at how fucking pretty the place is. 91 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,080 - Little signing bonus. - Ugh. 92 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,720 Declan, come on. You're being paid peanuts 93 00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,680 to give bloodless interviews with one hand tied behind your back. 94 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,000 It's the golden age of television. 95 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:33,880 You're missing the game. 96 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,640 Oh. Daddy's home. 97 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,320 Hi, Daddy. 98 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,160 Hello, darling. How was your day? 99 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,640 Extremely successful. 100 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,760 Sorry I landed on your game. 101 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,720 Yes, we do have other lawns. 102 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,920 Here we are, girls. The Priory. 103 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,320 Caitlin, we're here. 104 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,000 - What? - We're here. We're here. 105 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,240 Look. We're here. 106 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,240 Oh, my God. 107 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,240 Exciting things are gonna happen to us in a place like this. 108 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,440 Amazing. 109 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,640 Race you to the top. 110 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,400 - Bagsy best room. - Absolutely not. 111 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,480 Prettiest prison I ever saw. 112 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:08,960 Jehovah's Witness. 113 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,640 - Oh, fuck. She's seen us. - Oh, shit. 114 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,280 - Oh, you'll have to go down. - What? Why me? 115 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,880 - I'm a lookout. For him. - What? [groans] God. 116 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,040 Soviet officials... 117 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,480 ...have announced that 79 bodies have been recovered 118 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,360 and nearly 320 people are missing... 119 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,760 Door! 120 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,440 ...after a Soviet cruise ship sank in the Black Sea on Sunday. 121 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,840 Door! 122 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,160 Hello. 123 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,560 - I just wanted to welcome you to-- Oh. - Down, Gertrude. Sorry. 124 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,120 - Oh, no. No, thank you. - Hmm. 125 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,920 Uh, we're not on the best of terms with Jehovah in this house. 126 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,400 Taggie, just shut the door. 127 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,040 Oh, it's not mine. I found it on the lawn. 128 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,360 - New English? - Um... 129 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,800 - Is it the New English Bible? - Ye-Yes. 130 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,920 Daddy says it's a literary abomination. He must've thrown it out the window. 131 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,840 I'm Lizzie. I-I live down the valley. 132 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:55,600 I brought you a bottle and some eggs. 133 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,600 We'll open this now. 134 00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:58,760 Okay. 135 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,520 Come on in. 136 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,360 We haven't found the wineglasses yet. 137 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,760 What time is the second post here? 138 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,320 Oh, there isn't a second post. 139 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,560 Hmm. Taggie lost her virginity this summer 140 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,760 to one of our son Patrick's university friends. 141 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,280 He's in the south of France right now 142 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,800 - and not writing many postcards. - Mummy. 143 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,360 Aw, it must be so lonely for Rupert now he's not showjumping. 144 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,080 And the only thing that persuaded Caitlin to leave all her friends in London 145 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,480 was the thought of living opposite Rupert Campbell-Black. 146 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,600 I want him to ravish me. 147 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,120 He's a middle-aged MP, Caitlin. 148 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,200 Well, I'm so cross. 149 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,280 I'm off to boarding school and won't get first crack at him. 150 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,200 He's bound to fall for Taggie or even Mummy. 151 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,160 How well do you know him? 152 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:40,360 Oh, I-I-I'm not sure anyone really knows Rupert, but we're friends. 153 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,800 So not carnally then? 154 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,360 I'm one of the few women around here who hasn't been ravished by Rupert. 155 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,160 Is your husband fiercely protective? 156 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,240 Oh, that's my novel. 157 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,720 I wrote it. Have you read it? 158 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,480 Oh, no. Taggie doesn't read. Uh, she's dyslexic. 159 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,800 For a long time, we thought she was retarded. 160 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,000 Oh, He Took What He Wanted. I loved this. 161 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,280 Talk about getting ravished. 162 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,360 Isn't there a very naughty bit with some dock leaves? 163 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,680 Oh. 164 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:09,760 Oh. 165 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,920 Yeah, the photo's quite old. 166 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,440 Have you got another one coming out? 167 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,680 Well, what with the children and my husband, 168 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,440 I don't find much time to write nowadays. 169 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,400 Tag, I need a shirt and some fucking socks. 170 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:25,840 Oh. 171 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,320 - Daddy, that's Lizzie. - I-I-I live just down the valley. 172 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,440 - She writes dirty books. - Nice to meet you. 173 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,320 - You're wearing my socks. - They're warmer than tights. 174 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,280 - Sorry, still unpacking. - Thanks, love. 175 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,520 How easy is it to find help around here? 176 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,920 We are not forking out for a cleaner. 177 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,440 Well, stealing a woman's help around here is worse than stealing her husband. 178 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,920 What if you stole both? 179 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,720 That's grand, Tag. 180 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:53,000 Right, I am going to buy 30 pairs of socks in such a disgusting colour 181 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,120 that none of you will ever pinch them again. 182 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,120 - Nice to meet you, Lizzie. - Yeah. 183 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,920 - Good luck, Daddy. - Give 'em hell! 184 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,680 - Yeah. - All right, let's get smashed! 185 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,320 Welcome to Rutshire. 186 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,680 Ooh. Whoo! 187 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,720 Declan, hi. 188 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,040 - Yeah. - There he is! 189 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,320 - That's him! - It's Declan! 190 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,320 Okay. 191 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,880 - What the fuck? - Declan! 192 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,080 Just a man of the people. 193 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,040 Don't be jealous, James. At least he won't steal your sunbed. 194 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,280 He's tall, isn't he? 195 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:42,080 Standing next to a very short car. 196 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,840 I saw him in Penscombe. 197 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,120 - I think he looks older in the flesh. - Thank you, Deirdre. 198 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,720 - Who's producing him? - Cameron. 199 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,720 But it's factual, not drama. And why does Cameron get all the good stuff? 200 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,200 I really can't think. 201 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,000 Declan, how much are they paying you? 202 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,640 Why'd you leave the BBC, Declan? 203 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,640 - Give us a smile. - All right. Thanks, lads. That's your lot. 204 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,800 - Get me the fuck out of here. - This way. 205 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,080 You've put the Paddy among the pigeons, haven't you? 206 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,680 Who says no Blacks, no Irish? 207 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,520 I'm a one-man equal opportunities revolution, Ginger. 208 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:16,040 I am a journalist, not a celebrity. I ask the questions. 209 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,520 It's Declan O'Hara. 210 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,160 Where the fuck is this Cameron guy I'm supposed to report to? 211 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,440 I mean, Jesus, 212 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,960 you don't just ambush someone. 213 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,320 I'm a serious fucking journalist. 214 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,800 I don't discuss my career with the Scorpion. 215 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,360 Shitshow. 216 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,160 Come in. 217 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,360 Where is he? 218 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,200 Take a seat, Declan. 219 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,840 - What, you're-- - Cameron Cook. 220 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,200 You were expecting a man, possibly queer, 221 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,640 which you would have endured 222 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,280 but certainly not a woman and God forbid, a Black one. 223 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,720 I thought you were a publicity girl. 224 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,800 No, I'm a "producer-y" woman. 225 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:06,880 Listen, I'm not-- 226 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,960 Prejudice? Of course not. You're an asshole to everyone. 227 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,200 This isn't gonna work, Tony. 228 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,560 It's not a chat show. It's a serious programme. 229 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,680 I wanna produce a serious programme too, but there are ways 230 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,200 - of drawing the audience in first. - Cuddling up on a sofa with cushions? 231 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,440 You've seen the set design then? 232 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,840 I know my audience, Tony. A fucking sofa? 233 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:25,920 You might listen to Cameron. 234 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,880 NBC howled when I poached her. 235 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,480 Do you know Charles Fairburn, Controller of Programmes? 236 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,840 - Oh. - Declan. 237 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,360 We knew each other at the Beeb. 238 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:35,600 Hey, you look, um-- 239 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,520 Fatter. I don't miss the canteen at the BBC, darling. 240 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,120 And Ginger Baines, Head of Operations. 241 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,440 I'm sorry, Tony. I produce myself. 242 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,080 I've got Johnny Friedlander flying over for your first interview. 243 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,640 Johnny Friedlander the film star? 244 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,080 No, Johnny Friedlander my dentist. 245 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,960 I don't interview actors. 246 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,680 Friedlander doesn't give interviews. Not since the sex tape. 247 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,000 - They're saying he could be the next Bond. - They'll have trouble replacing Roger. 248 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,920 I've been speaking to Jackie Kennedy. 249 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,640 She'll just blabber on about her old, boring publishing job. 250 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,040 No, she wants to talk about life as a single American woman, actually. 251 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,720 Hmm, you could learn something, Cameron. 252 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,080 Look, you two lock horns if it turns you on, 253 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,560 but don't forget I hired you both because you can get ratings. 254 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,800 So let's pull together and get them, yes? 255 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,800 The BBC have put Top of the Pops against us in the schedule. 256 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,000 So you need to be more popular than Jimmy Savile. 257 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,880 Johnny Friedlander is a global megastar, 258 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,600 and he hasn't given an interview in five years. 259 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,920 People will watch this. 260 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,040 Book Jackie for the next one. 261 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:37,640 Okay, fine. 262 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,800 But I do my own research. 263 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,360 And no fucking sofa. 264 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,560 Give him whatever fucking furniture he wants, all right? 265 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,400 - We all know it's not about the sofa. - I don't need this shit, Tony. 266 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,680 You brought me here to produce drama. Not a chat show. 267 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,840 I brought you here to be the cleverest person in the building 268 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,880 and terrify the rest of them into pulling their socks up. 269 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,320 So far so good. You're a lion in a petting zoo. 270 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,280 But we need big game like Declan 271 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,440 to convince the IBA to renew our contract. 272 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,280 We lose the franchise, there won't be any drama to produce. 273 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,520 You'll be on the next boat back. 274 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:13,200 I didn't come here on a boat. 275 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,480 Forgive me. Semantics. 276 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,280 I flew here on fucking Concorde. 277 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,760 I paid for the ticket. 278 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,640 Worth every penny. 279 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,160 - It's gorgeous. - Yes. 280 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,280 There are badger setts up at the top there. 281 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,240 And in spring, the bluebells flame between the beech trees 282 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,720 like little Bunsen burners. 283 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,760 Sorry, I sound like an estate agent. 284 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,840 Oh... [stammers] ...I just can't believe this is all ours. 285 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,440 Well, only to the bottom of the wood, 286 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,400 and then Rupert will have you for trespassing. 287 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,000 Oh, thank you for walking me back. 288 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,600 I'm really quite pissed. 289 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,120 Hmm. 290 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,360 Looks like Rupert's back home. Caitlin will be scaling the wall. 291 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,280 Caitlin's all talk. 292 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,440 She's sworn off marriage until she's at least 35. 293 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,720 Got too much to do, she says. 294 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,640 And you? 295 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,960 With parents like yours, you must have big plans. 296 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,560 - Oh. I'd like to be a cook... - Oh. 297 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,440 ...but following recipes and writing things down-- 298 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,680 I, um, don't know what to do with myself really. 299 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,840 How old are you? Nineteen? 300 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,120 Twenty. 301 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,080 Your whole life ahead of you. 302 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,280 It's 1986. 303 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,000 You can have whatever you want... 304 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,360 ...so Cosmo tells us. 305 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,920 Hmm. 306 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,840 - Back into battle. - Ellie, I'm gonna get you. 307 00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,480 - How many children do you have? - Two. 308 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,200 Three, counting my husband. 309 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,520 He works for Corinium too. 310 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,200 - Oh, you didn't say. - Go away, Sebastian! 311 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,520 I talk about my husband as little as possible. 312 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,840 He does enough of that himself. 313 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,600 - Oh. - I'm gonna get you. 314 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,280 I'm gonna get you! 315 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,960 You can't catch me. 316 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,040 Hello. 317 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,120 What's going on? 318 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,680 Oh, my God. There's a fire. 319 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,440 Uh, there's a fire! Oh. 320 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:50,800 Oh, come on. 321 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,080 Fire! 322 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,040 I can't hit a bloody thing. 323 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,280 Fire! There's a fire! 324 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,040 Tit fault. Your tits were at least six inches over the line. 325 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,760 Well, cock fault then. You're at least ten inches over the line. 326 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,200 Um... 327 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,240 Don't be shy, darling. 328 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:37,960 Your fields are on fire. 329 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,920 And? It's the quickest way to get rid of the stubble after the harvest. 330 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,960 Could you, um-- 331 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,000 So, you set fire to them on purpose? 332 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,080 Sorry, 333 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,920 who the fuck are you, and why are you here? 334 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,880 What about the animals? The rabbits and voles and birds-- 335 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,520 Yes, and the lovely ickle earwigs. 336 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,920 Should I stop ploughing my fields 'cause it's cruel to woodlice? 337 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,000 You're murdering them. 338 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,600 Do you want me to give them a state funeral? 339 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,720 What the hell? 340 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,680 Uh, I called the fire brigade. 341 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,280 Get off my land before I call the police as well... 342 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,920 ...and take that brute back to its pigsty. 343 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,720 You are utterly ab-- 344 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,120 Ooh. 345 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,520 - Ab-- - Abhorrent! 346 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,120 Gentlemen, you ordered a full-bodied Argentinian? 347 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,520 And the wine, Basil. 348 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,200 Yes. Have you tried this one before? It's very, very nice. 349 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,360 I'm assuming we're on expenses. 350 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:55,800 Bas enjoys helping me spend Corinium money. 351 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,480 I do. [grunts, sniffing] Oh, wonderful. 352 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,880 Now, I must say, I loved your coverage of the royal wedding, Charles. 353 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:06,360 Thank you, Bas. Andrew and Fergie are a modern-day fairy tale. 354 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,120 Well, you know what they say about redheads. 355 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,280 Enjoy, chaps. 356 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,480 That's Tony's brother? 357 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,080 Half-brother. 358 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,160 He got the good half. 359 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,120 The mother had a scandalous fling with an Argentinian polo player. 360 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,280 Basil was the result. 361 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,720 Bas was always the favourite with Daddy, despite his dubious origins, 362 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,640 and poor Tony just never managed to catch up. 363 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:27,720 Does he hold a grudge? 364 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,920 Tony? Darling, he cultivates them like rare orchids. 365 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,920 Artists. Tony cultivates artists. 366 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,160 You're in safe hands. 367 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,360 We're-- We're-- We're so lucky to have such a strong leader at the helm. 368 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:39,560 Hello, Archie. 369 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:46,520 I'll have the liver and marmalade, and a radicchio salad. 370 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,560 - And for you, sir? - Steak. Still mooing. 371 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,720 Tony's son. 372 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,760 Working here for the summer holidays, teaching his children the value of money. 373 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:07,440 And tell me, is Cameron Cook as big a bitch as she seems? 374 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,000 She is a genius. 375 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,440 So, we ripped up the treatment, 376 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,520 aged all the characters down ten years and gave them some desire. 377 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,320 The men were all dickless, so I said to Tony, 378 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:25,280 "Our audience wants to fantasise about being banged over the sink 379 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,440 while doing the dishes." 380 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:31,120 And Four Men Went To Mow is now the top-rated network drama of the year. 381 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,600 Looking good, boys. 382 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:33,840 I smell like Sunday lunch. 383 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:34,920 You look delicious. 384 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:36,760 Everybody, this is Lady Gosling, 385 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,160 chairwoman of the Independent Broadcasting Authority. 386 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,640 Best behaviour, everyone. 387 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,800 And this is the Declan set. 388 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,680 Yes, very impressive. You're rather impressive, aren't you? 389 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,920 Where did Tony find you? 390 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,200 New York. 391 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,080 August 26, 1970, 392 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:58,320 I marched with Gloria Steinem on the Women's Strike for Equality. 393 00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,560 My mom was on that march. 394 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,960 -"Don't iron while the strike is hot." - Hmm. 395 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,560 I think you'll be pleased with the efforts we've made to address your concerns. 396 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,880 I am not your Barbie doll. 397 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,840 And Declan O'Hara's presence on the Corinium team, 398 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,240 it just nudges that political dial leftwards. 399 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,800 And the board? 400 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,880 If you want to hang on to your franchise, then Corinium's board needs strengthening. 401 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,160 Well-- 402 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,240 Have you thought of Rupert Campbell-Black? 403 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,120 Rupert's presence would give you legitimacy, Anthony. 404 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,600 I don't like taking people's franchises away, 405 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,440 but Rupert would give Corinium real sparkle. 406 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,160 I want to be convinced that I'm backing the right horse. 407 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,320 Tell me more about your mother. 408 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,440 - My mom was into politics. - Really? 409 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:45,520 All about female pow-- 410 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,520 I mean, they don't tell you when you leave the BBC... 411 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,280 Yes, there's a lot more money in independent television... 412 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:03,120 ...but you're going up against 14 other regional companies just like you. 413 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,920 And then there's franchise renewal. 414 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,760 But that's what, once every five years, is it? 415 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,960 Yeah, but the anxiety is constant because some other company can just waltz in 416 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,760 and take your franchise away. 417 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:18,120 We may not have had biscuits at the BBC, but all we had to do was make television. 418 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,000 - Do you think I made the wrong move? - Oh, no. 419 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,000 Granada have Coronation Street, LWT has Blind Date, 420 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,320 - Corinium now has you. - Hmm. 421 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:28,720 You're the golden goose, darling. 422 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,880 Sit back and let Tony fucking fatten you up. 423 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,880 The foie gras is divine here, by the way. 424 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,360 Ugh. 425 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:03,640 I wish I was coming too. 426 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,400 I've only been invited so I can drive Mummy and Daddy home when they're drunk. 427 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,800 You've already met Rupert. It's not fair. 428 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:09,880 You saw his willy. 429 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,880 He's vile. 430 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:13,360 Oh, that journalist is so lucky to be shagging him. 431 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,320 - What are you looking for? - The bright-blue mini. 432 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:21,600 Do you think it's gonna happen again? 433 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:22,680 What? 434 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,720 Mummy. 435 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,320 Now we're here, I quite want to stay. 436 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,040 Taggie? 437 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,840 Oh, let's go. 438 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:37,440 What? 439 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,760 You're wearing Taggie's dress. 440 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,440 Uh, I wore this to Bono's Christmas party. 441 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,480 - It was mine then too. - Oh, you're so touchy these days. 442 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,440 Look, we are going to go and meet the most wonderful people this afternoon. 443 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:49,720 I'm excited. 444 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,080 Leaving London's going to be good for her and Daddy, isn't it? 445 00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:57,800 It will be. 446 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:02,160 It'll be okay. I promise. 447 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,760 Well done, darling. Great turnout again, I must say. 448 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,040 Yes, I've told them to up the proportion of orange juice in the Buck's Fizz. 449 00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,640 I don't want everyone plastered like last year. 450 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:00,720 No. 451 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,040 So, which one is it you want for your board? 452 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,520 Is it the electronics millionaire chap? 453 00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,000 Freddie Jones. He's over there with the tash. 454 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,240 I'll get him onto satellite technology. 455 00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,520 You can ask her if she's made any friends in the area yet. 456 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,080 She's opened a boutique in Cotchester, 457 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,720 so you should offer to pop in and buy something. 458 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,760 Hmm. Is Miss Cook coming? 459 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,400 Couldn't drag her away from the studio. 460 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,680 Declan goes live in a matter of days. 461 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,760 And here's our star. 462 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,120 You're even more beautiful in the flesh, Mrs O'Hara. 463 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:42,360 - Thank you. - Declan. 464 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,400 - Tony. - We're so glad you're here. 465 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,480 Everyone's dying to meet some new people. 466 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,680 We're all very bored of each other. 467 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,400 The Maud O'Hara. My favourite actress. 468 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,280 Bas, the better Baddingham. 469 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,400 If you say so. 470 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,320 So pleased you could make it, Basil. 471 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,560 Declan, let me show you off to some board members. 472 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,680 Why don't we get you a drink? 473 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,000 You were wonderful as Lady Macbeth. 474 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,760 - Oh. - Come. 475 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,200 Yep. Oh. 476 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,520 Not going to Lord B's party? 477 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,960 Hmm, I turned Tony down. Not my kind of crowd. 478 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,400 Is that the only reason? 479 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,160 What other reason would there be? 480 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:30,560 I want your opinion. 481 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,000 I'm not paid to have opinions. 482 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,080 Mm-hmm. 483 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,640 Now, I agreed to ditch the sofa, but why a desk? 484 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,120 He's-- [sighs] He's not a news anchor. 485 00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:38,840 Perhaps he wants to hide behind it. 486 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,200 Huh. 487 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,080 It's not because he hasn't got good legs. I've looked. 488 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,880 Steve, move the desk off the set for a minute. 489 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,440 - Declan asked for the desk. - Yeah, I wanna see it without the desk. 490 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,800 It's just, we built the desk-- 491 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,200 Not telling you to burn the damn thing. 492 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,480 I'm telling you to move it so I can see the set. Can you do that? 493 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,120 All right. Keep your wig on. 494 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,520 That's funny. 495 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:02,880 You know what isn't funny? 496 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,760 Looking for another fucking job. 497 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:07,520 Mmm. 498 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,280 It's better. See? It's better. 499 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,720 There they are. 500 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,000 Well, Rupert's arrived. 501 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,400 Really? 502 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:38,120 That's Gerald. Rupert's aide. 503 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,960 We go way back. 504 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,280 Where's your gorgeous lord and master? 505 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,000 - He's not here? Damn it. - No. 506 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,040 I have a pile of papers for him to sign and I can only pin him down at parties. 507 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,600 You can pin me down later if you like. 508 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,280 Stop it. 509 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,520 - Vol-au-vent? - Thank you. 510 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,480 Actually, I think I might just, uh... 511 00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,720 Li-- 512 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,680 Lizzie. Lizzie! 513 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,160 Um, I-- I think that man wants you. 514 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,760 He doesn't want me. That's my husband. 515 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:17,280 Thank you. 516 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,680 Thank you, darling. 517 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,920 Feel like I should be reading the news. 518 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,200 Fortunately, we have the wonderful James Vereker to do that instead. 519 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:38,920 Oh. [chuckles] Thank you. Thank you. 520 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,800 Um, now I-- Don't worry, I won't keep you from your lunch. 521 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:43,840 Uh, but I'm very glad to have you all here 522 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,720 to celebrate Corinium's newest star with me. 523 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,560 Ladies and Gentlemen, Declan O'Hara. 524 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:54,880 Cheers. 525 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,360 Declan joins Corinium, of course, on the crest of a wave. 526 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:02,920 Uh, wonderful ratings for our prestige drama, Four Men Went To Mow. 527 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,200 Who knew arable farming could be so sexy? 528 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,320 Uh, and with revenue from our sales to America, 529 00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:15,640 we are confident that this is going to be our most successful autumn ever. 530 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,000 Hear. Hear. 531 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,480 ...then jumped over six full-grown men. 532 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,280 Oh, my God. It's him. 533 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,960 So sorry. Sorry. Didn't mean to steal your thunder. 534 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,440 No fire engines with you today? 535 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,560 Um, please, uh... ...go on with your speech. 536 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,640 - Oh, hello, darling. - Hello. 537 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:48,400 Um, but Declan, you are undoubtedly the jewel in the Corinium crown. 538 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:53,320 And I know everyone here joins me in welcoming you, your wife, Maud, 539 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,880 and your daughter, Agatha, to our Cotchester family. 540 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,360 Declan O'Hara, Ladies and Gentlemen. 541 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:08,640 - Lunch, everybody. Lunch. - Drink? 542 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:09,880 Thank you, darling. 543 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,960 Mmm. Look at all this gorgeous food. 544 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,520 People are always saying, "You should write a book, Mrs Jones. 545 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,840 You've led such a fascinating life." 546 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:46,920 How funny. 547 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,800 People are always telling me I should open a shop. 548 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:50,640 Oh. 549 00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:52,800 Uh, so where have you moved to? 550 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,400 Wychey, Green Lawns. 551 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,800 It's a lovely house, now we've added the extension and double-glazed 552 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,880 over those draughty old windows. 553 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,280 Those Victorians must have worn a lot of jumpers. 554 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,600 Oh. [laughs] Very good. 555 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,120 But the only house I know round there is Bottom Hollow Court. 556 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,960 Green Lawns sounded so much prettier. 557 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,200 Especially now we've, uh, landscaped the garden. 558 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,800 No tatties, Fred-Fred. 559 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:18,400 Lord Baddingham is wooing my Fred-Fred for his board. 560 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:19,360 Oh. 561 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,640 I'm encouraging him to get more cultured. 562 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,080 We could do with a few more caring wives at Corinium, Mrs Jones. 563 00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,920 Oh. Please, call me Mousie. 564 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,400 All of my friends do. 565 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,280 Shall we go and find somewhere to perch? 566 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,040 Let's, Mousie. 567 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,200 Do move on to something soft, darling. We don't want the hunt ball again. 568 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,160 Mmm. 569 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,600 I do so enjoy your Cotswold Round-Up. 570 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:45,200 My husband tells me you're one of the most powerful men in England. 571 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,040 Yeah, I suppose I am. 572 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,880 Then I expect you're allowed a few potatoes. 573 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,960 One potato, two potato, three. 574 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,640 - Shall we find more booze? - Mmm. 575 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:02,760 Hello, Declan. 576 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,480 I'll see you later. 577 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,680 We were all so surprised when you left the BBC for Corinium. 578 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,800 - Mm-hmm. - Do you miss your integrity, 579 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,880 or do you feel lighter without it? 580 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,160 What was it the Private Eye called you? 581 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,800 The first not-quite-a-lady of Fleet Street, was it? 582 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:26,040 Tag, have you seen your mother around? 583 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,680 No, I haven't. 584 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,240 I've met a few athletes in my time. They always get what they want. 585 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:34,800 And what do we want? 586 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:35,880 To win. 587 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,440 Well, sadly, I'm not showjumping anymore. 588 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,880 Well, you're still athletic. 589 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,640 You're certainly too disturbing to be living across the valley. 590 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,120 - Ah. There you are. - Finally. 591 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,640 Shergar himself. 592 00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,880 Mr Campbell-Black, getting to know the neighbours? 593 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:01,840 Huh. 594 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:04,520 Taggie, have you met Rupert? 595 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,320 No. Think I'd remember. 596 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:09,160 Ugh, Agatha. It's my daughter. 597 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,240 Uh, Taggie. 598 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,760 I hear you did a hatchet job on Paul Stratton. 599 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,720 - That I'd have loved to see. - Mmm. 600 00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:23,120 Shall we make a dent in Tony's whisky collection? 601 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,880 Why not? 602 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:43,080 Are you hiding again? 603 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,480 Oh, they're just at the end of "Das Rheingold." 604 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:46,880 I need you out there with me. 605 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,280 Bloody Rupert. I want to get this over with. 606 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:50,960 Oh, come here. 607 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,040 I can't believe I'm going to him for legitimacy. 608 00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,120 All he did for his status was be born into it. 609 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,680 It's just social currency, darling. It's the way the world works. 610 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,280 Public school wanker. 611 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,320 Well, shall we send Archie to a comprehensive and save on the school fees? 612 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:10,880 Mmm. He'll only make you feel inferior if you give him permission. 613 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,800 Now, deep breath, shoulders back. 614 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:15,840 Good boy. 615 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,640 Working the weekend? 616 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,120 Oh, I hope Tony's paying you handsomely, Ginger. 617 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,440 Come on, dogs. 618 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,600 Took some digging, but I found these. 619 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,240 I think you'll enjoy them. 620 00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:32,800 It's a little Declan O'Hara insurance. 621 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:35,120 Oh. 622 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:44,200 Mm-hmm. 623 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,000 "Peaceful is the country that is strongly armed." 624 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,080 Hmm. 625 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,760 Baddingham family motto. 626 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,600 Circa 1972. 627 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,360 Lord Pop Pop, Tony's father, 628 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,600 made his millions in munitions during the war. 629 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,560 That's why Tony married Lady Monica of the Glen. 630 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,280 He had Daddy's cash, Mon-Mon had the house, 631 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:26,080 and, what Tony wants most of all, class. 632 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,680 And why are the English so obsessed with class and money? 633 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,760 Declan! 634 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,520 I was only asking Mr Campbell-Black a question, love. 635 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:39,280 Rupert, you've met Declan then. 636 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:40,360 Anyone want another drink? 637 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,560 Oh! [mutters] You've found one. 638 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,240 Hmm. 639 00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:46,000 It's decent Scotch. Did Monica choose it? 640 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,760 Ignore us. Our families go back a long way. 641 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,440 Not that far. 642 00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,120 Listen, uh, can I have a word, Rupert, in private? 643 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,440 A business proposition. 644 00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:58,840 Well, we're all friends here. 645 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,600 Nothing you could say to me that dear Maudie shouldn't hear. 646 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,360 I am not drinking sherry with the wives while the men have all the fun. 647 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,680 No. You wanna be here when Tony asks me to be on his board. 648 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,200 Uh, uh, uh, uh-- Well, all right. 649 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,600 It's a lucrative game. I thought you'd want in. 650 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,760 It's so hard to take you seriously, Tony. 651 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,640 You just always sound like you're playing Monopoly. 652 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,280 The answer's no. 653 00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,280 Lady Gosling thinks I can give you some class, 654 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:35,640 help you keep your franchise, 655 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,480 but I'm not using my family name so you can buy yourself a bigger helicopter. 656 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,120 Uh, Tony, Paul Stratton's here. 657 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:47,080 Ah! 658 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,920 Sorry we're late, everyone. 659 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:52,440 Bit of trouble getting out of bed actually. 660 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,080 You know what newly-weds are like. 661 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,000 Paul. 662 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,920 Mind yourself in those jeans. You bend over, your eyes will pop out. 663 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:04,400 And the new Mrs Stratton, now you are a very welcome upgrade. 664 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,320 Well done, Paul. 665 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:10,240 - Uh, do you know Declan O'Hara? - Oh, yes. 666 00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:12,920 Yeah, you did us all a favour, actually, Mr O'Hara. 667 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,960 Good to get everything out in the open. 668 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:16,320 We're insanely happy. 669 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,560 Aren't we, Paul? 670 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:18,960 I'm a new man. 671 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:23,240 Excuse me. 672 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,640 This is so fucking stupid. 673 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:45,480 I heard about you catching Campbell-Black playing tennis in the noddy. 674 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,040 That's enough to upset anyone. 675 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:50,360 Who knows about that? 676 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,640 Well, the whole valley knows about the fire engines. 677 00:42:56,400 --> 00:43:00,120 And I know who the mystery woman was now, don't I? 678 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,800 You know you're dancing with the devil, don't you? 679 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,760 Says the man who works for Thatcher. 680 00:43:58,240 --> 00:43:59,960 Let's hope you've got rhythm. 681 00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:21,080 Oh, incoming. 682 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,360 You bastard! 683 00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,880 You've been shagging Sarah Stratton too? 684 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,200 It was only tennis! 685 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:00,960 Ow. 686 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:02,280 Fuck! 687 00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:03,440 - Ow. - Drop! 688 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,040 Ouch! 689 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:21,280 Beattie, darling! 690 00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,240 I'm going to ruin you. 691 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,680 I'm so sorry. 692 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:47,320 I wouldn't mind, but... ...that's my car. 693 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,520 - So it's Rupert now, is it? - It was a conversation. I was conversing. 694 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:02,760 You were all over him. 695 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,800 Oh, what, now I can't even talk to a man without you assuming that I'm after him. 696 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,480 - Oh, grow up. - God. 697 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,120 I didn't ask to come here. 698 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,680 You're the one that took the cheque and just sold us all out. 699 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,480 Yeah, Maud. It's a horrible house and you live a terrible life. 700 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,480 What, and these are our people now? Oh, my God. 701 00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,720 They're all horses and dogs, and houses and cars, 702 00:46:19,720 --> 00:46:22,440 and who's got the longest fecking driveway. 703 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,200 I mean, God, the men are all desperate to ride anything, 704 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:26,640 as long as they're not married to it. 705 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,160 The wives, Jesus, 706 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,720 they haven't had an orgasm since... [stammers] ...Pony Club camp. 707 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:34,800 Oh, for fuck-- 708 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,240 That's not us, is it? 709 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,160 Everyone was looking at you. 710 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,640 Huh. And did you like that? 711 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:50,920 Oh, God. 712 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,320 How much? How much did you like that? 713 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,120 - Tell me. Yeah. - A lot. 714 00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:58,760 - How much? - A lot. 715 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:51,000 Yeah. Hello. Come on. 716 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,480 Did you miss me? 717 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:22,280 Yes? 718 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:24,960 Yes, fine. 719 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,160 No, it was, uh, a buffet table. 720 00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:33,120 Of course. See you 9:00 a.m.? 721 00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,120 You have a good evening, Prime Minister. 722 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,400 Come on, dogs. 723 00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:46,040 Daddy's in trouble again. 724 00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:07,040 Mummy and Daddy are clearly back on track. Was Rupert there? 725 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,720 Yeah, I think so. 726 00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,440 "As she gazed at the O'Caseys, 727 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,080 with their burnished bohemian beauty, 728 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:28,120 entering this world of unbridled passion, she worried." 729 00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:33,320 "Little did Diarmuid O'Casey know that he had brought his family into the wild." 730 00:49:34,240 --> 00:49:39,720 "Into a world of untameable beasts giving in to their basest needs. 731 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:49,560 Hungry for sex." 732 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,920 "Hungry for status." 733 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,160 "Hungry for love. 734 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,480 Hungry for power." 735 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,880 You know, Campbell-Black is finished after today. 736 00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:17,240 "Hungry for comfort." 737 00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:18,640 Are you coming to bed? 738 00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,680 You had better be stark bollock naked when I get through there. 739 00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,800 Good dogs. Good dogs. Lie down. 740 00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:38,040 Mmm. "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." 741 00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,200 "Because as seductive as these predators might be, 742 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:01,440 one should always beware of being eaten." 743 00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:11,920 Bloody hell! 744 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:15,040 Oh, yes! 745 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:26,720 This is a surprise. 746 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:30,880 The prime minister wasn't thrilled about seeing her ministers' private lives 747 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,360 splashed all over the papers. 748 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,000 Paul Stratton's been shuffled to the backbenches. 749 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,040 Oh, dear. Have you lost your job? 750 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,640 No. Not at all. No. 751 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:40,480 No, Mrs Thatcher's given me a promotion. 752 00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:46,040 I'm her new Minister for Sport, so thank you. 753 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,120 I couldn't have done it without you. 754 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,200 You had to come all this way to tell me that? 755 00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:57,400 I want you to keep your grubby little nose out of my affairs. 756 00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:02,440 Maggie will see through you soon enough, you overprivileged cunt. 757 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,680 You'll have to try harder than that if you wanna beat me, Lord Baddingham. 758 00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:20,200 Game on.